SO, what's that you say? WHICH shops? Well I'm glad I forced you to ask that! Let me explain!


Mr. Twist has several things in the works right now that are available for public view/purchase other than here at HappyGunFactory.com.

First off, if you missed my last blog post from whenever the fuck that was, My online Print Shop is now up and running featured here: www.NickTwistArt.com. True, you can simply click on the "Shop" tab at the top and it will take you to where that is all located, but fuck other forms of simplicity. Lets keep moving. Here on this site  you can purchase Limited Edition prints and soon Limited Edition clothing that is hand designed by Yours Truly. Don't believe me? Go on Twitter and ask @Love_Gunn, she is the most recent recipient of this shirt:

So there you go, radical. I also want to add that Love_Gunn is a pro jello wrestler and they are trying to raise money to make a "mockumentary" of sorts about the sport. I am currently a backer of this project and you should be too. Even a pledge of just a buck can help out so soo much! Get the simple details here and hopefully you too can be a part of this project in some way!
Click this link to find out more ---> Jello Wrestling: The Movie 


Continuing, my second shop is my "I just want something cool" shop, if you will. Most people may not have the money to spend on a custom designed by hand piece of clothing, so,  to make stuff I do accessible to all I opened Happy Gun Factory Clothing. Here, there is plenty of images on shirts available at an affordable price to ALL you lucky ducks out there. Click the link and take a look. More clothing is coming soon.


I think that about wraps up THAT stuff. Onward, although I think I would write better blogs if I had something legitimate to talk about.


BUT WAIT I DO. I have recently taken on a pupil in my teachings of  "Creative Drawing/Technique". The always hilarious on Twitter and always wonderful, @Stef_Nfection, is excelling MUCH passed my expectations in a very short time. Stef is very committed to expanding her knowledge of drawing and technique. She recently did some artwork and realized she had a new found love of wanting to do more with it. We chatted and she decided to give my lessons a shot. Bravo, Stef for your continued progress! If you don't follow her and you follow me on Twitter, your fucking up pretty bad. She has outrageously funny posts. GET ON THAT.


BTW i have never ever tweeted ever. except maybe like 4 times. a long time ago....

Other news I still have two feet and i'm starting to wonder if they are only available as a pair and that maybe I need both of them only? PFFFF, who cares, I wanna get like 5 more so i can have some fucking foot variety in my life. Do you like tea? sometimes i drink it.


ROGAINE.


Anyways, enough of your nonsense. GO HERE to THIS LINK: TLPS Top 10. Right there at that link is  The Last Podcaster Standing's top 10 most downloaded episodes. Who is that at #6? WHY YES, ,that ISSSSS the episode I guested on not too long ago. I'm finally on a list that doesn't involve Schindler or the government!!! :D You can download and listen to Episode 31: TLPS with a Twist by clicking that link which will take you directly to the page. You can Follow @LastPodStanding directly by clicking that link. Funny FUNNY show, definitely check out their Podcast!


I hope you guys are enjoying yourselves out there in La La Land, but I also hope you aren't enjoying things more than me, and keeping it from me. BTW Satan says Hi.


I don't really know what else to talk about. what do you want to talk about? Cheese? Watergate? Fire?


LET'S DO THIS!!!


Imagine for a minute you are a slice of cheese just living the high life and suddenly you realize you are in the  middle of the Watergate scandal. You would surely want to distance yourself from that, so you would change your appearance. BAM a little fire and some melting later, and you will be all set. NEATO!
So there, we talked about ALLLL the things YOU wanted to talk about. Ok. I'm gonna get back to work and probably Tweet. Follow me on Twitter: @Nick_Twist

OH YEAH, but before I go, here's a VIDEO!!!!

Enjoy your holiday weekend and feel free to contact me about anything on this site under my Contact tab. Word up.


I never proofread so there's that.


#### NT.

This shop has work for sale by me that have been asked for by many, so if you go there you will find a nice current selection of works available. I will be having Tshirts for sale as well in limited quantity coming soon as well. THIS IS BIG NEWS. Never before have my prints been available at such ease of purchase. There are limited editions of Revillusion now available there and I suggest  you get your grubby mits on them NOW before they are sold out forever!


So what else is new besides tacos and rabbit necks? well, PLENTY!


RECENTLY i had the opportunity to be a guest on a Podcast radio show called "The Last Podcaster Standing". Needless to say this was a MASSIVE success, the guys, Grant, Jason, Joe and Tom are some really awesome guys with a really really REALLY funny Podcast that they do. WELL, a good friend of mine @Love_Gunn from Twitter hooked me up with these guys to guest on the show.


I could go on about how the show went, but i suggest you listen to it for FREE, RIGHT HERE: 
The Last Podcaster Standing Ep. 31 TLPS with a Twist to see just how insane it was. So far the reviews are raving about it and it's comedic moments!


HOWEVER, i do NOT suggest you ONLY listen to this episode. The guys on this podcast are dead on with hilarity that you are sure to love. Check out their entire library of past episodes on their site right here: The Last Podcaster Standing
I have been invited back to the show at a later date. I will keep you posted on that shit tho for when it airs.


I don't really know what else i wanna say right now so i'll leave  you with this: FUCK.


ok, AND almond milk.




later pretties


****NT

Friday I watched like 3 episodes of Workaholics. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, that is a great show, i love it.  It's like the perfect follow up to the time when we don't have any "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" to watch that is fresh.

pears.

Ok, I promise it's gonna get shitty, now.  Friday night, was iffy at best, but then Saturday came. And it came like a guy getting anally raped by a fucking horse. (see @LastPodStanding and The Last Podcaster Standing Website for MORE info on that CRAZY shit)

So i didn't do much saturday, i had shitty fucking shuffle songs coming on that i think i spent more time skipping songs than i actually did listening to any. I was willing to accept this and move on, BUT NO, life was all like "HANDLE THIS, BITCH"

I fucking hate the wheat germ box FYI.

So, im hangin out with @GramerQuing on saturday evening and we decide we were gonna go to our favorite place to eat Tennessee BBQ. Let me tell you, this place is AMAZING. SUPER Friendly staff and WAY more food than  most should be able to handle for great price. HOWEVER, like i said, life has other plans. We roll up and the god damn place is closed.

I hate words that i have to write or say for real.

CLOSED???? WTF????? This is the 2nd time in a month, and now i fear that they are out of business cuz there was no sign or explanation. So that was number one shitty.
Then, not to ruin our fun, we went to The Dollar Store.  Those of you who were on twitter yesterday evening and read my "Dollar Store Live Tweets" know what i'm talking about.

That part was pretty good. good like a healthy cumshot to a womans mouth that you don't know but love cumming on. Good.

We leave, we decide lets just fucking go to On The Border and eat.

FAIL, we drive like a half hour to the dismay of it being over crowded and no end in sight. FUCK.

OK, lets go to this steakhouse we know of. "OH NO YOU DON'T" says life. Yeah, they were crowded too and i was getting hungry. we say fuck it and go to WaWa, a deli/convenience store that is acceptable for meals, but not in these conditions considering how shitty the previous scenarios were.

We eat, the food is ok at best. I rape a tree, i clean up, i say fuck this i'm goin home.
I drop off Grames at this place and head home.

Now, what happens next will end up being headline news once i discover wtf happened and kill the person.

I'm chillin at my house, its late, like 1:30 am....my brother texts me out of the blue and says "Someone fucked with your car"

W H A T ?

Listen, I dont have enemies, i have pranksters, but this prank went sour fast.
I beam out of the house and see my car wrapped in plastic wrap. Hmm, not too bad, pretty funny actdually....then i get up on the vehicle (its dark mind you) and i see that my car is no longer blue in certain areas, but WHITE.....

FLOUR??? are you FUCKIGN kidding me????
Thats right, FLOUR, all over the hood, windshield, and roof of my car, TONS OF IT.
NOW I"M PISSED.

Now, Twist doesn't get angry too easily. Sure i have a lot of mock arguments for the sake of comedy, but i don't generally get angry or fly off the handle. THIS, however, at 2am was NOT what i needed.
i wipe all the fucking powder off and get the hose. I wash my car off figuring i could at least get a head start on it. WRONG. Flour has oils in it, soon as the water hit it there was fuckign bread everywhere.

I would have must rather wrestled a rabid yeast infected vagina to the ground with my teeth than had to do this fucked up work.  There was fucking globs of crap everywhere, in EVERY crack and crevice of my whole vehicle.

Now, i have a lot of silly friends, but most of them are also fucking idiots. Whoever did this, thought, WOW FUNNY! and it sure would have been, had the clean up been a snap. I'm not one for ruining other peoples property for the sake of joke, so this rubbed me VERY WRONG.

I'm fucking standing outside in my boxers washing flour down the road and trying to get the shit off my car. The entire front street and driveway of my house is like a fucking easy back oven nightmare at this point. FUCK THIS I'm GOING TO BED.

Next day i see nothing but globs and oil EVERYWHERE on my car. so carwash is only option. This now sets me back $15 to get it done right. that's right, now i had to spend my own fucking money on this shit cuz some asshole doesnt know what comedy is.

Sure, I'm absolutely positive i have haters.  All people on the rise have them. But this was not a malice scenario, this is some shit gone wrong.

I immediately instilled the fear of god in everyone Via the Facebook.  And i mean INSTILLED. I seriously doubt the lil bitch is gonna come clean now since well...since i'm the size of a freight train crossed with a bull who had sex with a rhino and gave birth to me. Like, seriously, you got the wrong one here.

ok fuck that shit. i promise not to write anything else serious. but that shit was fucked. so fuck.

Whatcha thinkin about? (i don't care)

I assume you have got here through twitter and are looking for the proverbial "Good Time" so you konw what, lets fucking do this. NOW.


here's some old vids you havent seen that i just uploaded. yeah they aren't really "NEW" per se but it's all good cuz i dont give a fuck about what you think, unless you think it isnt good that i don't care?
Lets do this.

Video One: Conversations.

Video Two: Winter Afternoon Drive, with Nick Twist and The Gramer Quing

Video Three: Widening The Road Masturbation.

Ok, i know it's not much but i'm really fucking busy with my set backs on getting my actual E-Shop up and running, My prints of my work  i ordered havent arrived yet so fuck milk.

I dont' feel like talking about anything else.

*drinks gallon of NyQuil*

LATERZ BITCHIZ!!!!!

====== NT

This SINATOGRAPHER video has terrible audio sync up. FUCK @GRAMERQUING for filming it shitty!!!!

OK, lets move on.  If you follow me on Twitter, (saving) you will know a couple things i mentioned today and few a simple things about me if you are new here. and i love new viewers so be sure to scrutinize the info:
1. I'm an idiot.
2. I'm updating my Blog
3. I have a video from last summer i just found starring Me and @GramerQuing I just uploaded it.
4. I'm an idiot.
Here is the video: MONEY LOGGERS! (I'm narrating, filming)

What the fuck are you guys up to anyway? you know what tho, let me go ahead and stop you right there, cuz i only asked out of formality and i really don't care.

i dont capitlize ususally except always. ALWAYS.

The show at Art All Night is still on my mind cuz it did WONDERS for me. "Blume" has gotten so much attention. gotta thank you guys even though i'm pretty sure most of you i hate, personally or other.

WHAT FRENCH DIP??

CSPAN makes me sick to my stomach just because i want it to. so who wants GoGurt?

All the good beastiality is on pay sites. I swear they have that shit on lock down! But in all honesty i would like to see you on the sidebar for a minute to discuss this movie i wanna make.

Do you think Fred Durst likes living still? i can't imagine that he does. I've said it on Twitter, and i'll say it here. HE SUCKS.

Its my blog and i'll lubricate if i want to.

Just found this pen on my desk so i'm going to the emergency room. But before i leave, its imperative that i mention some music i'm listening to right now cuz i love music so fucking much.

1. Arcade Fire - "The Suburbs"
2. Blackfield - "Welcome To My DNA"
3. Antarctic - "Antarctic" (i know its on myspace, but they are really fucking good, listen)
4. Mr.  Bungle - "California"(classic Mike Patton goodness)
5. Minus The Bear - "They Make Beer Commercials Like This" ep AND "Hold Me Down" ep
(free DL of  ep "Hold Me Down" if you click the link!)
6. I'm actually bored doing this so i'm just gonna move along.

MANY MANY MANY people have been questioning my sanity/when my shop is gonna open for biz. All i can promise is i swear i'm working on it. I'm really hoping to have the rest of my images edited for the site so it can go live by end of week. Pudding.

Pretty sure that is all i have to say for now, i really gotta get back to dropping E and Acid while my cats get jealous. TTYL BABY CAKES (not you tho, everyone else)

TWIST OUT. (like ryan seacrest? yeah fuck him too, you're right)

this is a long text message, wow.

----NT

I WILL BE AT THE SHOW ALL DAY SATURDAY WITH FREE GIVEAWAYS!
Yes, me, in the flesh. Trust me, you will know its me if you're at the show, come get something free, if you read this on my site OR on my twitter account please let me know PL0X!!!
LIstening to Gorillaz right now, awesome.
If you are in the Tristate area and at any point have time during 24 hours to come into an awesome art show, this is the one.  It is withing walking distance of the Trenton Train Station and also NJT Riverline accessable within walking distance as well.  It is a free and there will be over 800 artists there showcasing their best work (one piece per artist). There is food, events, and YES, BOOZE. Plenty of stuff for the kids to do too, check out the website. Art All Night

LOLZ If what wasn't a fucking car salesman pitch in like 3 minutes of time i dont know what is. And i know a lot about making pudding snacks!

Is it normal for me to be thinking about Santa Claus as much as i do? GOD I HOPE SO.
brb, gotta piss
RELATED: brb gotta wee wee

So i should probably get back to work here but i'm just like....not ready. are you ready for me to be ready? HERE'S A HINT I DON'T CARE.

No no, i do i do... i dont.

Seriously eating these JuJuBees right now and i'm hating myself severely.  WHY IN FOR ALL THAT IS FOR FUCKS SAKE WOULD I WANT TO EAT CANDY THAT CAN POTENTIALLY RIP OUT MY TEETH?????

I'll tell you why. cuz god damnit i'm a man and men put hard things in their mouths and grab life by the balls.....wait a minute.....*rereads* FUCK wait let me rephrase that.  MEN PUT COCKS IN THEIR MOUTHS.

Better?

I'm actually doing pretty decent right now (he's lying) and my brain isn't on fire (it is) as much as it is with unfocused roaming in the universe i call my mind.  My work i do is all a glimpse of that world.  People ask who my favorite artists are, mostly cuz i'm an idiot and i don't really have jack shit on my site describing me or my style. (i'll allow it)

I'll keep it brief for now: 

My inspirations: Salvador Dali, M.C. Escher, Sheppard Fairey.
My Style: Graphic Art
My Medium: Paper, Pencil, Marker, Ink.
All of my work is done BY HAND, nothing here is digital unless EXPRESSLY noted.


GRAVITY: BULLSHIT ha, im posting that on twitter right now.

FUCK TWITTER, god damn thing. na, i love it.

I gotta go slam some cran grape juice and some almond milk to play with my degree of vomiting.

LATES

>>>NT

fuck off.

So, since I have joined twitter under my absolute insanity pretenses, I have made some pretty good acquaintances and also a friend or two.  You know who you are, friends. The ones I speak of are absolutely non tradable for anything. Real people who connect with real people.  I dont get mushy cuz then i cry and crying leads to masturbation and masturbation leads to rape. Right? RIGHT!?


So there has been some interesting shit in the media. Schwarzenegger, Wiener, Palin. FUCK THEM.
I dont give a shit about obvious comedy...unless it's about a Kardashian fucking a  different black guy...that is always funny.

Speaking of black guys, any black dudes know any "whores" that wanna blow a dude like me? Just curious....asking for a friend.


Watching The Science Channel right now and loving it.  GOD DAMN I love this channel. I also like handjobs.

This weekend coming is Art All Night, sponsored by Bank of America.  I am 95% done with the piece I am submitting to this years show and am exceptionally proud of it.  I have shown a few people the WIP and they have given me a lot of good feedback.  I had sex with all of them and their opinion of ME rapidly fell, but my art stayed the same. So i'm assuming they are bad in bed and jealous of me.

Milk pisses me off.


I haven't been through 1000 of my new business cards yet, and i'm already thinking of a redesign cuz i'm an asshole and apparently love spending money on shit.

I'm drunk.
hearing about asteroids makes me wanna touch my balls, cuz my balls are so epic.  You would love them. They are like miniature planets full of cummy goodness. (don't hate)

Discovered some new music and none of it has to do with animals surprisingly. First order of business:

Blackfield - "Welcome to my DNA"is a new find and is absolutely phenomenal. If you like good rock music with some calmness, check ths album out.

The Decemberists - "The King is Dead" WOW at this album. Totally what you expect from them but absolutely something that is unexpected with the southern folk sound and story lines. I love this album.

Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi - "Rome" if you listen to "Broken Bells" and are a fan of the "Kada/Patton" album you will love this.  Very chill, very sexy. and i love sex. and cumming.

FUCK THE REST OF MY MUSIC CHOICES.

What else.....uhmmmm....boobs are always great. Never seen a boob i didnt appreciate. i have seen some i am AFRAID of, but still respect.  I like nipples, but some are just....jesus christ,...ya know?

Fuck trains.

I don't even know where to go from here, except i really hope that anyone win the tristate area makes it out to "Art All Night" in Trenton, NJ this year.  Gonna be a TON of free give aways in terms of limited PRINTS from me.  Also there is booze and music and me and fun. Quit fucking around: AAN TRENTON

Damn, I'm lazy, I dont even feel like correcting any of my typos or capitalization. FUCK IT.

I drink Almond Milk. Vanilla Sweetened.

I made a really really really really really really really great friend recently and, well, FUCK YEAH! She rocks. I dont normally take on new actual friends too often, but when I do, i feel really compelled to talk about it. So, basically fuck you if you don't like it and fuck off. Some people in this shit hole of existence make life worthwhile, and when you can add them to your roster of actual friends, be happy for that, i am.

I hate the alphabet.

Gonna go see a horse about some Glue.
LATER.

>>>>NT

I realized once again for a massive amount of time this afternoon that I absolutely love drawing. I draw something at least once a day and it just writhes with amazingness that I, as an artist, expect you to fully understand. no excuses.

Stan Lee created some really great characters in his day. I gotta give him a lot of credit. I'm sure his fans are absolutely happy with the direction that Marvel has taken in selling out like a bunch of bitches to Disney and that even though other companies have butchered 99% of everything Stan Lee has worked most of his life to create, the fans will not all commit suicide at once. Cults are being formed as we speak...I mean support groups.....no, I meant cults.

2012, big party, see you in hell.

I was brought up Catholic, which is exactly why I am the way I am today. I know you think I'm a priest and all, but I'm not. I just reprezent like a MutherFucker, just like REAL priests do. DEM B SUM KRAXY MUTHRFUKKRZ.  I did play a priest in short film once. more on that later.

I don't really worry about all of my grammatical errors, because as long as you can understand me and I'm not writing like a 13 year old texting her American Idol groupies (see above), i don't really give a fuck. In fact, grammar is for pussies.
I'm not done here.

Vince Vaughn is NOT actually a  Rolls Royce. I TOTALLY felt like an asshole at the dealership today. We'll always have tomorrow Vince......yeah I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about here.

PUBIC LICE IS NOW ON SALE- SEE DAVID SCHWIMMERS CAREER FOR DETAILS.
i had a joke with someone on twitter about this. They never answered back, but like a good warm can of old beer....I wanted to liberate it.        ..........I'm pretty much saying I drank skunked beer that someone pissed in.  and possibly urinated.

...and shit in.


I love you like I love a thyroid condition.  -Lenny Hamilton.
 no really bye.

-NT>>>